I call this my liquid confidence. Without this one little bottle, just £5.50 from Canterbury market, I struggle to look anyone directly in the face. Without this one little bottle, I don't feel even remotely attractive. Without this one little bottle, I have to avoid mirrors for fear of ruining entire days, or, in this case, entire holidays.
You see, I ran out of foundation two days before we went to Budapest. And in my rush to buy a replacement, to regain my liquid confidence, I bought a different brand and a different skin tone, one which looked worse on than off.
So I was stuck without my mask. I was stuck in just my skin. Looking kind of like a fourteen year old version of myself , a version that very luckily got upgraded, or I that I thought got upgraded.
It wasn't a disaster, it just wasn't fun avoiding photos and mirrors all trip.
But it did serve one purpose. For a while now I have been questioning my makeup routine, I even tried a lighter coverage by getting a BB cream (genuinely horrendous, looked darker than my foundation and streaky but yet had no coverage?!), because I am aware that in the summer and direct sunlight my makeup may seem a bit heavy. I even briefly thought about weaning myself of makeup so that I didn't have to wear foundation at all.
My five days in Budapest cured me of any desire to stop wearing makeup, and any perpetual worrying that my makeup wasn't "good enough", I was just grateful once I bought a new bottle of foundation that I had the ability to improve my skin tone to a stage where I feel confident and happy, that I can make myself look better through my makeup choices.
I think it easy to think that you are failing as a woman and a feminist if you admit that you need makeup to be happy. But I really feel like myself once I've put my face on. And I am okay with that.
When I wear makeup, my skin becomes a non-issue. It isn't something that worry about, or even think about during the day! And that is why I wear foundation, not because wearing makeup consumes my identity, but because it stops the state of my skin becoming my identity.
Now, onto a quick rundown of my skincare makeup routine. Because you obviously care so much.
Here is a very flattering, well lit photo of what my skin looked like this morning after getting out the shower.
And that's about it for my daily routine! I only wear eye makeup for nights out, events or if I'm procrastinating essays! Otherwise I just leave it because I touch my eyes too much in the day to wear eyeliner and I have the stubbiest eyelashes imaginable so mascara makes minimal difference. Perhaps I'll share my going out makeup routine another time. Or perhaps not. I'm not exactly a beauty blogger!