I forgot my confidence

I call this my liquid confidence. Without this one little bottle, just £5.50 from Canterbury market, I struggle to look anyone directly in the face. Without this one little bottle, I don't feel even remotely attractive. Without this one little bottle, I have to avoid mirrors for fear of ruining entire days, or, in this case, entire holidays.

You see, I ran out of foundation two days before we went to Budapest. And in my rush to buy a replacement, to regain my liquid confidence, I bought a different brand and a different skin tone, one which looked worse on than off.

So I was stuck without my mask. I was stuck in just my skin. Looking kind of like a fourteen year old version of myself , a version that very luckily got upgraded, or I that I thought got upgraded.

It wasn't a disaster, it just wasn't fun avoiding photos and mirrors all trip.

But it did serve one purpose. For a while now I have been questioning my makeup routine, I even tried a lighter coverage by getting a BB cream (genuinely horrendous, looked darker than my foundation and streaky but yet had no coverage?!), because I am aware that in the summer and direct sunlight my makeup may seem a bit heavy. I even briefly thought about weaning myself of makeup so that I didn't have to wear foundation at all.

My five days in Budapest cured me of any desire to stop wearing makeup, and any perpetual worrying that my makeup wasn't "good enough", I was just grateful once I bought a new bottle of foundation that I had the ability to improve my skin tone to a stage where I feel confident and happy, that I can make myself look better through my makeup choices.

I think it easy to think that you are failing as a woman and a feminist if you admit that you need makeup to be happy. But I really feel like myself once I've put my face on. And I am okay with that.

When I wear makeup, my skin becomes a non-issue. It isn't something that worry about, or even think about during the day! And that is why I wear foundation, not because wearing makeup consumes my identity, but because it stops the state of my skin becoming my identity.

Now, onto a quick rundown of my skincare makeup routine. Because you obviously care so much.

Here is a very flattering, well lit photo of what my skin looked like this morning after getting out the shower.

In the shower I apply a Nivea exfoliating scrub and a Nivea cleansing cream, I prefer a combined cleanser/toner but when there wasn't any in Boots last time I went. I have really sensitive skin so I can't use anything like Clean and Clear as it makes me break out and face go red and itchy which isn't ideal, I tend to stick to Nivea as my skin seems to respond to it well.

In Budapest I was in the throws of a mega breakout. By now, I'm just on low-level full-face rubbish skin. My pores are pretty huge, my skin is dry and red (not quite shown by the lighting of this photo), with a few clusters of small but painful spots.

When I get out the shower, I apply a basic moisturiser to my nose (not pictured) to combat the dryness that I get from my nose ring, before applying a combined Nivea moisturiser and primer. I've already expressed my love for Nivea, and this moisturiser is great because I have had bad experiences with expensive and ineffective primers, but I can really tell the difference between this and a normal moisturiser as it reduces the appearance of the pores on my cheeks.

After moisturising and leaving my face to dry, I apply a light layer of foundation before reapplying on problem areas for better coverage. Then I use a blusher brush to cover my foundation with Maybelline matte maker powder to avoid shine and to set my foundation. I have only really used powder for about six months but it makes a lot of difference to how long my makeup lasts as well as evening out slightly bumpy areas such as my forehead.

After I've applied my face, I tend to choose a lipstick. I am not really gifted at eye makeup, so I tend to steer towards a more dramatic lip colour instead. I tend to use a red or a purple if my skin is truly horrendous as I like to think that it draws attention away from my face and onto my lips instead! 

Today I went for my most used lipstick which is only slightly darker than my normal lip colour, which gives my lips definition without making a bold statement. I borrowed this Bourjois one from my friend, Dove, for the summer ball and then went out and bought my own because I love it so much! So far this is what I look like.

Finally, I apply a small amount of blusher to my cheekbones if I feel like it. For nights out, I tend to use bronzer instead, and if I'm feeling quite red in the face I tend to skip this step as I feel like it brings out those tones. 

I bought this one as a bit of a test to find a colour that suited my skin tone but I really like it so have continued to use it. I know I shouldn't, but I use the same brush for both my powder and my blush. I bought another one so that I wouldn't but really didn't like it as much as this one, despite it being a £3 brush from Wilkinsons! So I just use this one for both now.

And that's about it for my daily routine! I only wear eye makeup for nights out, events or if I'm procrastinating essays! Otherwise I just leave it because I touch my eyes too much in the day to wear eyeliner and I have the stubbiest eyelashes imaginable so mascara makes minimal difference. Perhaps I'll share my going out makeup routine another time. Or perhaps not. I'm not exactly a beauty blogger!

This entry was posted on Saturday, April 18, 2015 and is filed under ,. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response.

One Response to “I forgot my confidence”

  1. Lovely with and without makeup, but I agree that I just feel like myself with my foundation on and don't spend the day worrying about how I look. :)


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